Holy Thursday Lenten Reflection

    “What I am doing now, you do not understand now, but you will understand later…” 

Peter didn’t understand what Jesus was doing. Was his teacher, his Rabbi who he had seen perform miracles and even bring someone back from the dead, really going to wash his feet? Was he really going to do that which no one but a slave would be asked to do? Peter didn’t get it. He did not understand that what Jesus was doing was a two-fold cleansing: as his Lord removed the dirt from his feet, He was also removing the dirt of worldliness that tells us that power and status are everything. Peter expected his messiah to show up to Jerusalem on a horse of war but, as we saw on Sunday, Jesus chose the simple beast of burden. 

I don’t know about you but there’s a lot from this past year that I do not understand. There was pain and suffering that I witnessed and experienced that, to be honest, I would not have chosen. Yet tonight we enter into the most tender, holy, and sacred days in our entire liturgical calendar––the Triduum––where we will see Jesus willingly choose to kneel at the feet of his disciples and remove the dirt from their feet. Tomorrow we will see him choose to bear the pain, suffering, and humiliation of the cross. 

I am with Peter… I don’t understand. But though I may not (and will not) always understand why things are the way that they are, I can have the steadfast hope of knowing the one in whose hands I am in. They are the same humble and gentle hands that wiped the dirt from the feet of men who didn’t understand. The same hands who endured nails for my sake. Today, as we prepare for these most holy of days, I pray that you and I would, like Peter, allow our protests to quiet down and that we would allow ourselves to just sit in the presence of Jesus whose humble and gentle hands desire only to cleanse and to bless. 

Gazing at Christ is one of the easiest ways to pray. In the Way of Perfection, St. Theresa of Avila writes to her religious sisters: “I’m not asking you to think about him (Jesus) or draw out a lot of concepts or make long and subtle reflections with your intellect. I’m not asking you to do anything more than look at him.” Look at the one who desires to kneel at your feet and make you clean. Take some time today to––in both truth and gentleness––reflect on the “dirt” your feet are carrying? Is it placing your worth on things of this world such as grades or achievements? Is it a sin you just can’t seem to shake on your own? Then, grab a Bible and take some time in silence (maybe come to St. Thomas Aquinas) to pray through the washing of the feet again (John 13:1-17) and place yourself in the story. What does it feel like to have Jesus gently remove those things from your life? How are you called to follow his example and wash the feet of others? 

Today, rest in the knowledge that the hands that led a donkey instead of a warhorse, held the feet of friends who would desert him, and were pierced for love are the same humble and strong hands that desire to hold your heart. 

“Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.” 


Hello––my name is Belén Loza, and I am one of the FOCUS Missionaries! I moved here from NYC but I hail from a land flowing with brisket and roasted pecan coffee: the great state of Texas. I am a proud alum of Texas A&M University (Gig Em Aggies!) and I enjoy reading and going to Target to look at all things Chip + Joanna Gaines in my free time. My absolute favorite way to pray is drinking coffee while praying in Lectio Divina with Scripture. 

“My strength returns to me with my cup of coffee and the reading of the psalms. ” ― Servant of God Dorothy Day