How I Ended Up in the Common Room

The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26
 

I was raised Catholic, albeit in a somewhat nominal sense; I never prayed the Rosary growing up; I’m still learning the Apostle’s Creed; and, worst of all, I never had a routine prayer life.   My Catholicism originated more from an inclination to follow rules than a love of God. 

Throughout high school, I struggled with anxiety. Midway through my senior year, this anxiety came for my lukewarm faith. I began to build misconceptions about the faith, chief among them being a misunderstanding of joy. I thought the Church was an authoritarian institution seeking control of my life and within a matter of weeks, I became agnostic. 

 Chasing secular fulfillment was remarkably unsatisfying. There has to be something outside of this life; life itself is both too joyful and painful to exist in a vacuum. There were questions that needed explaining.  I entered college searching for my soul, and the person I was destined to become. 

On move-in day, I discovered my old friend from the Arlington Diocese WorkCamp, Nick, was living in the room directly next to me. I feared telling him I had left the Church. At this point, while I began attending Southern Baptist services, I kept a disdain for the Catholic Church as an institution. Much to my dismay, Nick kept inviting me to mass. One day, I sat him down and told him “I kind of had a falling out with the Catholic Church. I attend a different church now.” He responded “okay” and stopped inviting me to mass. 

I was blessed to have great friends in my dorm during my first year. There was a great deal of diversity in religiosity (everyone was either a Christian or atheist but to varying degrees). There was something different about the way Nick carried himself. I told people I was a “Christian” but Nick lived it. He loved his neighbor, put God first, and showed a firm dedication in the faith.  I remember thinking “I want to be that kind of person.”

One day, I knocked in the door to his room and asked him if he wanted to go to mass together. We went to the 4:00 mass and it genuinely felt like a homecoming. A few weeks later, I prayed my first full Rosary on the lawn. I attended mass weekly for the rest of the semester. 

During the second semester, I joined Nick’s bible study. These guys, like Nick, showed me just how much my relationship could grow. In economics (my major), there is a principle called the “catch up effect” where less developed countries tend to grow at accelerated rates due to gains from trade from richer economies. Similarly, spending time with this great group of faithful men allowed me to learn and grow my relationship with Jesus Christ. Today, I am proud to call them friends. 

Eventually, I ended up in the adoration chapel for the first time since my CCD days; it was an amazing experience. While in the adoration chapel, I felt safe from all anxieties. It was almost like having a shield around me. I continued going to adoration regularly throughout the semester. Constant prayer strengthened my faith. 

One day, I had an epiphany. The key to defeating my anxiety might be found in one of the fruits of the holy spirit: joy. The Catholic Education Resource Center sums it up pretty well “Pleasure is in the body. Happiness is in feelings and the mind. Joy is deep in the heart, the spirit, the center of the self.” My anxiety came from a sorrowful attempt to seek happiness in place of joy.

Why did I come back to the Church? It was not the work of Theologians or an apparition, but rather one friend’s witness to Jesus Christ. Most people have heard of Jesus, but many people have not seen him. Let the Lord’s gifts flow through you. You might just bring a lost soul home. 

I would just like to thank the Catholic HOOs community for welcoming me in with open arms. It’s been remarkable. I’ve never been a part of a community like this. Thank you for always encouraging me to be a better person and grow in faith.