My Journey with Accountability This Lent

Let me preface with letting y’all know I am a severely flawed Catholic. I have and am still battling some demons which decided that this year will make a hard push for my soul. The only reason I have been able to put up a semblance of a fight is through the grace of God and some accountability brought on by those around me. Now, I still fall far too often into my vices, but due to my support network, I must immediately address the issues and come to terms with my own failures rather than kicking the can down the road. This accountability, which sometimes seems unbearable, has been a shining blessing that has helped me along the path to heaven. 

Prayer is a massive weak spot in my relationship with God that I have been working on throughout the past year. In order to keep myself accountable in getting at least one thing right, I started a rosary group on the Rotunda Steps every Wednesday night. Although the group size varies from week to week, the accountability of having the entire Catholic Hoos community holding me to my word means that I, at least, am always out there, rain or shine. On the nights I do not anticipate anyone coming, I think to myself “if no one shows up, I could just say I said it, who would know?” The funny thing is, someone always comes. It may not be someone from Catholic Hoos, but there is always someone who asks me, much like Peter was questioned outside of the questioning of Jesus, “why are you sitting here?” It is just another way to hold me accountable to prayer as it gives me the chance to be unlike Peter and say yes in response to the accusation that “this man was with Jesus of Nazareth” (Matthew 26:71). I could deny it, but I take these interactions as times to hold myself accountable. 

This repeated occurrence helped me realize why Jesus gave the instructions he did to the apostles. Mark 6:7 states “and he called to him the twelve, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over unclean spirits.” These instructions were not just some random details added by Mark, but vitally important to how we can gain authority over the unclean spirits in our own spiritual lives. The community of the church and the Sacrament of Reconciliation bring accountability that many religions lack. This accountability, this lifting up of each other, helps us grow in our relationships with God. We are not strong enough to do everything ourselves. Battling addiction or bad habits are both difficult to conquer alone. We need to be humble enough to be held to a higher standard than we set for ourselves. We need to rely on the breath of God in each other to help develop our relationship with God. Do not go it alone!

My battle call to you in this moment is to go out and find accountability. Lent is the season where it’s an expectation among all Catholics to sacrifice in preparation for Easter. There is no better time than right now to find the person whom you are going out “two by two” to overcome engrained habits and push each other to be better. This does not have to be the same person for everything, but you both need to understand the responsibility bestowed upon the other in an accountability setting. You can literally just ask people you know, let’s not make it a scary topic. If you can accept accountability with the small sacrifices of Lent, you can have experience to address core issues later. 

In my experience, well implemented accountability always comes from a place of love. It is nerve wracking to tell someone you messed up. What helps is knowing that the other person is keeping you accountable to help you get better, to push you past your weakness. People are not keeping you accountable to say “ha, I knew you would fail.” They are putting themselves in a position where they are praying that you do not fail, and if you do, being the first to pick you up and put you back on the road. Embrace this accountability with open arms and reciprocate the love if you are ever asked to hold someone accountable. 

I am praying for you all and would like to extend the open invite of accountability. If you need someone to keep you on track and cannot find anyone, my door is always open. I already call upon some of you to help me and it has honestly brought me to places I never thought I could reach. I am more than willing to step up and give back. May God bless y’all.