Stare into the Son II

We have discussed the Eucharist, the Son of God, as an image of the natural Sun, and the object of the liturgy in facing both the Sun and the Son. But we should also now consider the subject - that is, our role in the directionality. In other words, how do we look? I mean, what does it mean to look, to turn one's eyes to another? In human love, as in every human relation, there is always an unknowingness, always an otherness that is impossible to overcome: the lovers, no matter how close and how intimate they have grown in this life, will never know each other's thoughts as they wish to. And so, even though almost all our information comes from sight, when lovers gaze into each other's eyes, they do not see each other's hearts - only a reflection, an intimation. The eyes are the window to the soul, but the world of flesh has murky glass only. The intimacy of this world is only ever an intimation: not even the deepest love of man and woman will ever know the other fully, even though they desire it. We cannot see each other, really.

Actually, only God can truly see - and what He sees is what really is. A corollary is that only with God is true Intimacy: in fact, His Intimacy is the same as His Essence. We say that God is Love; what does this mean but that He is in fact Intimacy, so deep as not to be named? "I am Who am." This Intimacy is manifested even in this world: He is always with us, always knowing us, always seeing into us. He is also true Light, in His Being: "I am the Light of the world." His own Light shines on us, and He has been looking into us from all Eternity, peering into our being and searching it through, mesmerized. Mesmerized by His own creatures, because of His Love! Shall we look upon this Light; shall we return the gaze of these Eyes of Intimacy? In this life, if we do choose to look back at Him, it is like with a human lover: we do not search His Thoughts as He searches ours. We look at Him; we do not look into Him, as He does us. 

It is again like looking at the Sun: it is blinding, and we cannot pierce its rays to see what lies beneath, what the Sun really looks like - if we try to look straight in, it hurts. There is too much light for us to handle. I remember when I was younger it struck me that the Sun was like a great Host in the sky; I only made this connection, though, when I was able to see its circular, white shape behind a thin layer of clouds on an overcast day. So it is with God: there is too much Light, too much Love to handle, and that means there is too much of Him to handle. It is for this reason that He has veiled Himself under the appearance of bread, for our eyes. 

But we must still stare into this Son, even if because of the mortal veil our eyes cannot see clearly. As Venerable Fulton Sheen said in his autobiography, "Sitting before the Presence is like a body exposing itself before the Sun to absorb its rays." It is enough that the Son sees us, both from all Eternity as God and in the physical moment of our gazing upon His Sacred Incarnate Body as Man. The Host in the Monstrance is the Gift by which we are able to gaze on Him, allowing His rays to pierce into us. My mother told me when I was a child that every time we look at the Eucharist, we take one step closer to Heaven. "I got a lot of looking at Jesus to do then!" I thought. After this, I was very intent on forcing a profound religious experience with the Blessed Sacrament. Not because I did not believe - I always did. But I wanted to feel - and this is something that only the Lord gives to us. I have never felt Him in the Host, any further than my own efforts took me (not far). I have never even made a profound Communion, I think - according to my own feelings. But I continue to look at Him, knowing that He has been looking into me, "already always and forever" - even as I write right now!

The practical message of all this, and the message of most of what I think about, is Eucharistic Adoration  - both during and outside of Mass, whether the Lord is exposed or not. Let us remember His Body sitting for us in the church nearest to us when we pray - I try to face the nearest Tabernacle always at prayer.  (St. Elizabeth Ann Seton would do this even before she converted, attending services in her Anglican church). Maybe go to the corner of your house facing that direction - congratulations if that also happens to be the East! In any case, let us look upon His Precious Body in the Host, daily if we can. He did call Himself "the Light of the world." Let us look to the Light from the East, and stare into the Son.