Where Your Heart Is

"How does the act of giving strengthen our relationship with God during Lent?"

It was in adoration one sunny afternoon recently that I read a section of Luke that felt like a callout. “And the Lord said to him, “Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of extortion and wickedness. You fools! Did not he who made the outside make the inside also? But give for alms those things which are within; and behold, everything is clean for you.”  (Luke 11:39-41, RSVCE)

I added the emphasis to show you what most struck me. Jesus had just said “you are full of extortion and wickedness” and followed that up with “But give for alms those things which are within.” I may have been reading this all wrong, but what I heard was “Those things that sit in the depth of your greed, deep down that you really don’t want to let go of, give them as alms.”

As a college student, it can be easy to write off excuses for not giving alms. I don’t have a ton of excess cash from my limited shift job. I don’t have a ton of excess time in the midst of my school schedule. I think it is very convenient for me to be distracted by the current, and lose sight of the eternal. I’m sure it is the same for those outside of college. However, Christ once said “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:19-21, RSVCE).

Oh, man. The number of things I greedily cling to are too great for me to even number. As one silly example, I, like an absolute nerd and hypocrite, store up books that make me feel smart and accomplished, that I rarely even read, too blind to see myself in the characters I pity the most for being very self righteous and self centered. I am the person who oftentimes feels burdened by very small acts when they are requested of me, as I hoard my time, my comfort, and even my hair ties. Though I do honestly believe the center of my spiritual practices are rooted in a deepening love for Christ, it is also super easy for me to become too focused on the practices themselves. I am simultaneously frightened by the depths of my own sin (which are truly horrifying when separated from the immense grace and love of Christ) and prideful about the practices I do take on.

Well, this sort of ongoing inner dialogue often focuses on myself, when the solution, as always, is to look outside of myself to God. I want my heart to be with Him first and foremost, and so my treasure (whatever that may look like) should be with Him also. Where is he found? “And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’” (Matthew 25:40 RSVCE). Christ is found in those who are in need, so serving him with our inner treasures means sharing the things we tend to cling to with those who lack  those things.

He is an extremely generous and compassionate master. There has been no greater act of charity than Christ’s sacrifice on Calvary. He satiates man’s greatest need through the blood of his cross, out of love for us. After reflecting on how loving our savior is this Lent, it is more difficult to then return to my habitual stinginess.

King David says in 1 Chronicles 29:14, “But who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able thus to offer willingly? For all things come from thee, and of thy own have we given thee.”

That sums it up nicely, I think. When we make any sacrifice to God, we are always giving back something that He has first given us. When we give to others, we give out of the storehouse of God’s mercy. So, maybe you don’t think you have a lot of money, or time, or insert-whatever-resource-here, but it has been very helpful for me lately to see what things I am treasuring within (like books, food, money, and time), and to try to redirect the storing of them to a place that I want my heart to reside in – with Christ Himself, in the plethora of places he makes Himself visible to us. In these sacrifices, I have been finding my love and perception of Christ’s far greater sacrifice grow.

My name is Chloë Smith, and I am a third year (but graduating in 2022, so…maybe a fourth year?) from Charlottesville, Virginia (proudly raised on Bodo’s Bagels). I am entering the church this Easter, and I like to write songs in my free time. Feel free to reach out if you ever want to pray a Divine Mercy chaplet, or talk about anything :)