"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." ~Philippians 4:8
“Plan for the future,” or “set yourself up for success,” we hear these things as mottos to get the most out of life. I’m not going to lie, it’s good advice. However, I find it also can blind us from what really matters. That seems like an oxymoron; to get the most out of life but miss out on what really matters, but this is the trap everyone is falling into myself included.
I look around and see people like me who in high school were working towards college, and in college are working towards a career, and people in a career are working towards the next rung on the ladder of “so-called” success. Now this is all fine and dandy, but recently I have been thinking, what do I want out of life? So, I would mentally make a list: (1) a good relationship with my family, (2) good friendships, (3) to live out High School Musical (okay maybe not that last one, but you get the point), and the list would go on. Then I asked myself
why do I want each of those things, and I had the same answer for all of them. I want to be happy.
It’s ironic that the goals we set are to achieve happiness, yet our happiness is the thing we sacrifice to achieve those goals.
During third year I found my workload was increasing dramatically, so naturally, I cut out my social life, and I was miserable. I would find it hard to focus on the task at hand and easily get distracted by social media or video games. I used these as a reprieve from my work for some semblance of happiness. I know a fun phrase to use to “justify” procrastinating is made under pressure, but you know what can also be made under pressure? Cooked chicken. And I don’t want to end up like cooked chicken.
Long story short, I was looking for happiness in my distractions, and I wasn’t finding it. Now I am sure you are on the edge of your seat thinking “Well Craig, what happened? You are addressing this now, so clearly you must have had some sort of epiphany!” I’m so glad you brought that up. Well, I could just say “Jesus happened,” then drop the mic and figuratively walk off stage, but I think I owe you more of an explanation than that.
What happened was I said yes more often to friends, even to things I didn’t really want to do, such as going to a $15 concert because “they basically pay you!” What happened was I made opportunities instead of waiting for them to present themselves. I had the mindset (and sometimes still do) that if someone wanted to talk to me or do something with me then they can let me know, but I won’t approach them because I don’t want to interfere with their plans. It never occurred to me that they might not be reaching out for the same reasons. What happened was I started having meaningful conversations with friends. What happened was I put less pressure on academics, but still gave them the attention they deserved. What happened was I prayed. What happened was I started cherishing the present instead of planning for the future, because the future will always be a day away.
It is important to note that these changes were not made overnight and some took months or even years for me to recognize as a change. Personally, if someone told me two years ago that I should stress less about school, I would say “yeah, I know” and do nothing about it, some things I am only able to achieve through discovery. Although I still yield to distractions instead of pursuing true happiness but going forward I need to feed these changes in my life endlessly so that the Lord’s work may flourish.
Right now, as a fourth year, I have never been more unsure of my future. Will I just take the first job I find? Will I work in the field of my major? Where will I be a year from now? Amongst all these questions, I do know one thing. I am pursuing happiness, and by definition, that means I need to pursue the Lord.